Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
