Having a random hookup so left but love u
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
