my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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