she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
