She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My cat gives me a boner
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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