tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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