I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
