Got a toothbrush?
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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