and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Randomize
