So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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