will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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