Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize