I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
