just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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