This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
