she woke up with a sticky ear
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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