So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
