There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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