I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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