Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
