I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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