There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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