I accidentally had phone sex last night
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
