There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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