he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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