I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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