you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
