Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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