i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
