My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize