I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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