I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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