There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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