lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
