if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
