Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Bring me that man meat
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
