Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
