Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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