Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
