Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
