Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
