We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
