Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.