Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
