May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize