do herpes really smell.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
