She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
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