the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
