That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
