He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
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