how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
