I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
