Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
you have to choose: penises or morals?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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