I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
