I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
