I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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