come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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