Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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