Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
