That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize