Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
