Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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