im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
